All the while she stares, as if examining a purchase that's just been delivered. My nakedness embarrasses and intimidates me, but she passes no comment.My clothes are in a neat pile before me, shoes placed on top. My hands, now unoccupied, as if they had a will of their own, move to cover my genitals, but she snaps an instruction that stops me."Keep your arms by your side."Now she paces around me in slow, deliberate steps, hand at her chin, appraising. From time to time she reaches out a hand, squeezing, buttocks, shoulders, arms, the touch of her fingers a jolt on my skin. Somehow, I remain still throughout her inspection.At last, she finishes and stands before me, arms folded, legs spread."You are in good shape, David, but not quite as I'd prefer you to be. I will prescribe you a programme of diet and exercise."I sense a reply is required."Thank you, Madam."She seems satisfied. She nods, raises an arm and points to a trunk in the corner."Now put your clothes in the trunk. You will. I aborted the exorcism and called an ambulance. Having broken both rules, I was summarily defrocked and dismissed and they repossessed my company BMW. What did they expect me to do in that situation - continue the exorcism and pretend the seizure was demonic?Although I was no longer ‘Father’, my reputation meant that I continued to get calls for my help, in this case from Father Conrad at St Joseph’s. I hadn’t yet found a way to earn a living from it so I was currently working part-time on a zero hours contract as a cashier with my local supermarket.“What seems to be the problem?” I asked.“It’s my wheelbarrow,” replied Keith. “Ever since it was painted it’s been possessed.”“Don’t be rude,” interjected Tansy. “Invite the man in.”“Of course, do come in. I’ll show you the wheelbarrow. It’s probably outside the kitchen door by now.”Tansy Bickford led me through their ornate, sterile house, over-furnished with Laura Ashley kitsch, and into the kitchen. Keith then led us into a small.
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